R.I.P. Jmafia's hand

A ferocious tiger about to eat Jmafia's hand.

Coyote

I have some terrible news. It appears a tiger has eaten Jmafia's hand and now he does not have the ability to type and post blog messages (I don't know this "first hand," because he won't be able to pick up his phone if I call him, but I think this is the most logical explanation). That or all of those donations to the sperm bank have finally caught up to him and the pesky US legal system has forced him to go into hiding to avoid paying baby money.

Speaking of disappointments, if you care, the old crusty post-hipsters at Pitchfork have posted their 100 best songs of the year. One is lead to believe with a title like "100 best songs of 2008" that they would be posting 100 of the best songs of 2008. This is not the case. If "Blind" by "Hercules and Love Affair" is the best song of the year, than apparently the quality of the music produced each year is directly tied to the performance of the US stock market (sorry musicians from 1929).

You see, it is not that the people at Pitchfork are lazy or that they secretly hate music (at least I don't think so). The reality is that they are old and out of touch. They had this great idea 10 or so years ago to start reviewing music on the "series of tubes" known as the World Wide Web. One day they were sitting in their ice houses freezing their fucking asses off in Chicago thinking what a great idea it would be to spend their days inside listening to music and telling other people how much their music sucked. It was a brilliant idea! Why wouldn't we listen to them? I mean, wikipedia has an entry for them so they must be speakers of the truth. Anyways, in the same way that Henry Ford once revolutionized the auto industry by making quality cars affordable for the working man, eventually the company lost it's touch became old and started making bad decisions. Today the Ford company is worth dick and to prove how poor they are at making decisions they own the worst team in the NFL, the Detroit Lions (they also build shitty cars that no one wants to buy and are located in Detroit). Pitchfork has run it's course. It's time to hang in the towel and let someone else tell us that our music is shitty. Pitchfork is welcome to continue to give ten stars to the Fleet Foxes and other bands that are conducive to old peoples activities such as sleep, but really they should focus more on issues that the general populace really cares about, like how much bling Snoop Dog has on his gold chalice or Hannah Montana's latest nip slip. Go the way of MTV and Rolling Stone and other music publications that had their day in the sun, but are now sleeping in hammocks. It will make us all feel a lot better about ourselves not having grandpa making dated comments at the dinner table.



Dutchess and the Duke - Strangers


Dutchess and the Duke - Back to Me